I don't want to get all emo on you guys but fuck.
One of my first songs, Dawn of a New Time, is one of my most emotional songs.
Let me give you some back story:
After being lied to by someone I loved, I drove home and found my house to be completely quiet.
This was strange to me for some reason.
Me and the person I loved, we spoke constantly over MSN or text messages and for some reason, I guess that made my house not quiet as their the MSN chime would go off my phone would go off or I would just think about her in my head.
Either way, there would always be some form of conversation coming from us.
My house was dead silent.
I planned to take a nap so I started walking towards my staircase.
As I approached it, I saw my piano.
It was open and I swear I closed it (I close it every time I don't play because my cats jump on the keys and yeah..) I go to close it and my hand slips off and hits the C note.
I play it a couple times and then I finally throw all my stuff to the ground and sit on the bench.
0:00 - 1:55
Best Friends
I closed my eyes and thought about the day I met her and all the days in between where we would laugh and enjoy each other.
I opened up my eyes and let those thoughts spill out onto my keys.
It was..happy!
I felt like all the times before when I was with her.
1:55 - 2:40
Downfall
While I was playing, I kept thinking about all the good times and just improvised on them.
Then came the time where it all started falling apart.
Where she would ignore me.
Where she would lie to me.
I started to think about the dark times that followed.
I thought about today (July 1, 2009)
Those got translated as well.
But I couldn't let those thoughts ruin the feeling of my song, no.
Even though it really hurt me, I had to look forward...into the future.
I said to myself "Only good can come out of this. Only good."
and right then and there, my mind had a creative explosion.
2:40 - 4:07
Optimism
I played the final piece with a hint of an optimistic feel as I knew, I KNEW, that someone can't be this evil. There is no human this wrong.
And I was right.
Around the end of August, a day before my birthday, she spoke to me after almost 5 months of ignoring me (she started in April and I've been trying to speak to her since)...and she apologized.
The damage had already been dealt.
I will probably never recover.
I could of yelled and made her feel like complete shit.
But...I didn't.
Because I knew that deep inside her she didn't want this to happen to us.
She didn't want to stop talking to me.
I never asked for a reason.
I don't want a reason.
I accepted her apology and since then we really haven't spoken much.
It's sad to see such a wonderful friendship dissipate like that,
and yet, watching the way music can control your emotions is absolutely brilliant.
Now that you know what's behind that song, I ask you now to please listen to it.
Thank you for reading and Dawn if you're reading this,
I miss you and all the wonderful times we had.
Thanks,
Nigel.